Humiliation Equation

Someone asked me recently why they would get extremely turned on by humiliation, even though they really hate to be humiliated.

There is an old cliché sayings that come my mind when I think about explaining why humiliation is such a turn on.

"There's a fine line between love and hate."

Arousal is produced by brain chemicals in the body.  Some of the same chemicals are present in the body when you love someone and also when you despise someone.  Both emotions can cause arousal.  Have you ever enjoyed an angry fuck?  You don't have to love someone to get off sexually.  In fact, a person can get very aroused when they have an intensely hateful relationship with someone.  A case in point would be the person who fucks their ex on a regular basis even though there is animosity between them.

Shame also produces potent brain chemicals.  When someone is humiliated, they often feel shame as well as anger.  The shame can be a powerful aphrodisiac and produce a chemical cocktail in the brain which makes people very addicted to humiliation sex.  Even though they  might detest the words like cunt, whore, bitch, etc., they still get off on the feeling produced when someone shames them.  Sometimes this has to do with past experiences and low self-esteem during the pre-teen and teenage years which became attached to their budding sexuality.  For some, it has to do with a need to feel put down in order to deflate the ego and get outside of themselves or their social roles.  

Humiliation can be like exposure therapy that is used by therapists who treat anxiety disorders.  The more a person is exposed to words like cunt and whore or other terms that push their shame button, the less these words actually work to produce shame.  So say for example that you were taunted when you were in grade school about being a sissy.  The sissy word is then a huge humiliation and shame button for you.  You become addicted to being shamed for being a sissy.  Then as your Domme or Mistress humiliates you with this term, you start to become more immune to the term until you start to feel that the word is a term of endearment rather than humiliation.  The more you are exposed, the less ability the word has to hurt you.